Great marriages don’t just HAPPEN because two people are madly in love with one another and everything just flows right all of the time.
Nope. Not how it works.
Great marriages are CREATED. They are intentional. They are two people who choose love + forgiveness just 51% more than the latter every.single.day.
Dating your spouse is just one more way of creating that lasting, meaningful, “great” marriage.
As a family of five, the reality of needing a date night has become very clear + pretty obvious. As life continues by fast + furiously, we tend to get caught up in the everyday routines and forget to keep that “date your spouse” mentality.
Trust me. I know it can be hard. You have to set aside the time, then find a sitter, try your hardest to muster up the energy to go out past 8 p.m. and sometimes you don’t even really have the funds for a fancy, shmancy night out on the town.
BUT I’m coming to realize that those who take the time to date their spouses, seem to have a much better long term marriage.
After a MUCH needed and VERY last minute date night this week, I decided to share with you some of the benefits of dating your spouse.
So read on friends + get to dating!
10 hidden benefits of dating your spouse.
1. Sets an example of a healthy marriage for your kids.
I think this is so important. For the children to see that the marriage is the central focus of the family unit. Without the union of mom + dad, the family dynamic is shifted and therefore can lead to some negative consequences. Letting the kids see that each spouse takes time to think of the other, shows them what to strive for in their own marriage later in life.
2. The marriage bond is strengthened.
Going out on a date or even just away from the home for an hour or two- alone; allows for re-connection to happen. To be able to speak to your spouse without having to fight over all the noise that comes along with having children is such a good way to strengthen that connection that can sometimes fade when just doing life.
It also forces your to put the electronics down + talk about things that don’t even involve the children or daily tasks of living.
Which is so nice sometimes!
3. Reminds you of how it all started.
For us anyways, it allows us the time + space to think about those “younger” days and moments that we created either before kids or before life got crazy busy. Not only can you think + chat about those moments in time but you can truly brings those “new love/giddy” feelings right back to life.
5. Someone else cooks + cleans up.
I think we all know the positive to this one! After a long day either home with the kids, or working at a job OR both; cooking + cleaning up even when done together, can leave you completely drained by the time there is even an opportunity for the two of you to connect. Taking a date night, allows for you to have that moment while somewhat energize and you can connect with a fully belly + no dreading feeling of “having to clean up still” !
4. You get dressed up + put on makeup.
I’m finding the older I get and with each kid, I have gotten progressively more willing to look homeless in public. A date night with your spouse is a gentle reminder to get a little fancy every once in a while.
6. Cheaper than the alternative
Dating is what likely what motivated you + your spouse to even consider marriage in the first place. It’s so easy to get caught up in the hustle + busy of life that the marriage can be moved to the back burner. And that my friends can bring some not so awesome feelings. Dating connects you back to those same first feelings of how + why you love your spouse so.
7. It’s an investment into your future.
Marriage is an investment on many levels. Emotionally, financially + even physically. Just like you make small deposits into your long term savings, you have to do the same with your marriage. Every time you “date your spouse” you are depositing into your marriage bank. Which is a crucial investment into your future!
8. Actually FEEL young again.
As time passes , married coules can fall into the habit of the same daily routines and sometimes those routines don’t create the most excitement. Date nights create something to look forward to. A break in the routine and can fully breathe new life into you +your spouse. Which in turn can create a sensation of feeling much younger, in the best way!
9. Keeps the romance alive + creates more intimacy
Dating your spouse creates the opportunity for the both of you to romance one another. There is actually time + space for it since being kid-free but also “date nights” can have a small expectation of requiring you to be romantic. Sometimes this may seem unwanted, especially, if you’ve been in a rut. But it is actually a good thing. Just like reason number seven states, when you take the time + effort to create intimacy and keep that romance alive, it in-turn invests in your marriage. This investment provides so many great benefits. Right in that evening and for years many to come. Plus that romance spark can be just what a marriage needs to keep you both going through the trudges of parenthood!
10. Experience moments kid-free
Sounds super remedial, but it is true. When we go and do things with the kids, our focus is always on the kids. We are typically lovey with one another, but the focus is mostly on the kids. We don’t take pics of one another or selfies with just the two of us. The pictures that are taken are of the kids, or us with the kids. When you are dating your spouse on a evening out, you can then experience those same places and events with just the two of you.
Side Note: Somehow I feel like society says the focus has to be on the FAMILY and not just the two of you while with the kids otherwise the parents are being selfish. Dating your spouse gives you the space to dote on one another without any “guilt” of “not paying attention to the kids”.
11. Bedtime fun afterwards
Date nights allow for us to relax. To forget about the to-do lists, and activities planned for the following day and so on. So naturally date nights can tend to lead to a little fun in the bedroom afterwards.
Which most would agree is a pretty solid plus!
These are not IG worthy images BUT they remind us of our one on one time and takes us back to those giddy moments that happened while the pictures were being taken.
Date nights provide for these little moments in time to happen!
I am not professional on this matter, but there has to be some statistic on how one date night a month can add a year to your marriage…
You just read that on the internet, soo it must be true. Right?
In all seriousness, if you are feeling like you need SOMETHING in your marriage but aren’t sure what. I suggest taking the initiative and make a point to get a sitter and have a date night. Even if you really like your sweatpants + Netflix routine. I promise you won’t regret dating your spouse!
Let me know in the comments below what you will do on your upcoming date night and why dating your spouse is a priority to you!